My Blog

Insecurities and how they can impact everyday

Jun 10, 2022

My Blog today is on insecurity, we all have moments where we feel insecure.

I decided to write about feeling insecure because it is something that we all feel at times and it can and does create such feelings of inadequacy. It can also kill that, what is beautiful. 

Feeling insecure can have a huge impact even if you have a good self-worth and feel centred within yourself, just one small comment or the comparing of self to others and their successes can allow those negative thoughts and feelings overwhelm you. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt. These thoughts and feelings can fill you with such doubt. The internal monologue of negative self-talk ruminates until you begin questioning your worth, confidence within yourself and question all of your achievements.

You may ask, What Is Insecurity ?

Insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy (not being good enough) and uncertainty. It produces anxiety about your goals, relationships, and ability to handle certain situations. 

Everybody deals with insecurity from time to time. It can appear in all areas of life and come from a variety of causes. It might stem from a traumatic event, patterns of previous experience, social conditioning (learning rules by observing others), or local environments such as school, work, or home. 

It can also stem from general instability. People who experience unpredictable upsets in daily life are more likely to feel insecure about ordinary resources and routines.

No matter one’s age, self-doubt can get the best of us. It sneaks up on us when we are least expecting it. (hello, Imposter Syndrome!), it can affect our personal lives, and dulls the light and joy during the happiest of moments. That nagging feeling of insecurity is the voice in your head that makes you feel undeserving, compare yourself to others, and chip away at the joyous confidence we all have. Oh, and to sprinkle salt on the wound, here comes everyone’s filtered and curated social media presence to really mess with our emotions. No matter the reason for your insecurities, whether it’s childhood trauma, a failed relationship, career setbacks, or the rat race to meet an endlessly impossible list of social milestones, it’s key to know you are not alone in feeling this way. 

Managing our insecurities is a fulltime job.

Letting go

Step I

The first step of Voice Therapy involves vocalizing your self-critical thoughts in the second person. You can also write down these thoughts. Instead of writing “I am so stupid. What is the matter with me? I’ll never be successful,” you would write, “You are so stupid. You will never be successful.” This process helps you to separate from these vicious attacks by seeing them as an external enemy instead of your real point of view. This process can also be an emotional one, as saying these statements can bring up underlying feelings from the past.

Step II

In the second step, you can start to think and talk about the insights and reactions you have to exposing these mean thoughts. Do they remind you of anyone or anything from your past? It can be helpful to uncover the relationship between these voice attacks and the early life experiences that helped shape them. This too will allow you to feel some self-compassion and reject these attitudes as accurate reflections of who you are.

Firstly, vocalise your critical thoughts in the second person.  Instead of saying “I am not good enough” “I need to do more” “what is wrong with me” write down or say “you are not good enough” you need to do more” “there is something wrong with “.  This process will help you to separate the vicious personal attacks.  If we can see them as the external enemy instead of your real point of view

Stop comparing yourself to others you are who you are and you have probably achieved a lot in your life already.  Turn your attention and focus on what you have achieved and what you are grateful for.

Then treat yourself as if you were talking to your best friend.  Imagine you are hearing your thoughts form your best friend how would you respond.  I am pretty sure Not with negativity NO it would be with praise, compassion and love.

Just two steps to quieten those insecurities that have such a profound impact.

More information from Tony Robbins click the link below.

Overcoming insecurity